• Anna Maling

Over Covid

Updated: Feb 22

By Anna Collins Maling, MA, LGPC, NCC

 

To put it politely, Screw you COVID

I often take time to appreciate the joys of my life.

This is not one of those times.

COVID hit when I was 5 months postpartum. My first 5 months as a mom were during flu season and I routinely threw my body in front of any stranger who thought about coming close to my new baby. Not to brag, but I was insisting everyone sanitize before it was trendy. The week before the lockdown in 2020, I was headed back home to see my family. I decided the day before not to risk it. Then I didn’t see my family for a year.

My family has been safe, financially stable, and healthy over the last year and a half. It feels selfish to claim anger over what I have lost. Today, I’m owning it.

My List of Grievances Against COVID

  1. You created an environment of isolation and fear. My anxiety took the driver’s seat for many months.

  2. I have very few mom friends.

  3. I don’t know how to interact with other moms at the playground.

  4. I feel sadness watching my son excitedly go down a slide for the first time as a toddler instead of as a baby because I’ve been scared of the playground.

  5. You made me question how to keep my family safe at a time when I already felt uncertain in my role as a parent.

  6. You created an environment of tension and conflict in my marriage.

  7. I am tired. Really, really, really tired.

  8. I am sad for the first year of motherhood I thought I’d have compared to what I experienced.

  9. You made the future seem scary and uncertain.

  10. You divided so many people and made things really hard to communicate.

My instinct is to caveat this pain with all the lessons learned. Today, I’m leaning into my anger. Screw you, COVID. You are a bummer.

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